Erin Green is a gay Christian activist, member of the PCUSA church, and Biblical Studies major at Azusa Pacific University. She is also the Executive Director of Biolans’ Equal Ground, an affirming LGBTQ group of students, alumni, and allies at Biola University. In addition, she proudly works as Coordinator of Faith Programs for The Tyler Clementi Foundation.

How do you define faith-based bullying?
Faith-based bullying—just like all bullying and cyberbullying—is utilizing a real or unreal power dynamic used to oppress, humiliate, and dehumanize or deprive another human being of the same rights or quality of life and liberty that all humans are entitled to.

Have you ever been bullied or felt like you were in a hostile space directed at you? If so, could you share what happened?
I have. I was bullied in school from a young age and even through highschool for a variety of reasons ranging from what I wore, what kind of music I liked, to not dating boys or men. As I got older I have been harassed for my theological views by other “Christians” online to the point to where I’ve had to block people. During lectures at Biola University, professors would constantly talk negatively about the LGBT community. For example (and this is one of many) a professor at Biola on my first day of class proclaimed that, “homosexuality was destroying the church.” He proceeded to go on a tirade about this for the duration. Although these microaggressions or overt aggressions weren’t thought to be directed at me, they were since I identify as a Christian who is gay.

Do you think bullies can change?
Absolutely. It’s as simple as practicing the idea of putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and asking yourself how you would want to be treated. The challenge is for bullies to be able to perceive and understand that they need to change.

Do you think the community can help if someone is being bullied?
Of course. This is where the perceived power dynamic I mentioned above comes into play. Bullies can maintain control as long as people allow them to. When the community comes together and stands together against this behavior, it exposes the bullying being practiced as well as need for it to be changed. Community is vital in playing a role to end bullying. We should never be silent when we know something is not right.

Why is the issue of bullying important to you?
For me, it’s a matter of love and justice. Loving others and treating them justly is a fundamental component to my personal Christian beliefs. If people are being harmed by others, whether it’s physical or verbal; the victim, who is injured will suffer as a result. How human beings can allow and tolerate suffering of the other is egregious. I work in the religious sector specifically, and am especially surprised at this behavior on the part of people who claim to be Christians and their clear unwillingness to love the other as themselves.

How do we change the culture?
Perseverance and relentless pursuit of justice. We change the culture by unifying in large communities and organizing in community. Creating safe spaces for people to be loved and standing up for the person who is unable to stand up for themselves. We relentlessly pursue this and never stop. We can look to key figures in the past who were the movers and shakers of justice. We analyze these amazing turning points of history to make more turning points today and changes today that will resonate forever.

But that’s not the story I want to tell anymore, nor do I want to tell one about the mental illnesses that were triggered by a decade of bullying, relieved only by (oddly enough) high school, and then college, where I became comfortable in my own skin, with the support of fantastic friends.

I’m not in high school anymore, though. Nor am I in college. I’m 23, and lately I’ve been thinking about forgiveness. Because some days I can forgive the people who hurt me, and some days I can’t. I don’t believe, for me at least, that forgiveness is a rigid thing. It’s pretty fluid, depending on my mood, a therapy session I was in, the weather, and so on.

Around 4 years ago, my worst bully was a boy who, for a whole school year, made it his mission to make my life hell. It started off tame, and morphed into lunch sessions that would end with me crying in the bathroom or a physical assault that ended with my father going to his house and telling him never to speak to me again. Which he didn’t, until one sticky, summer night four years ago.

I was at a neighbor’s BBQ to celebrate the Fourth of July. He was there, and I felt my whole body freeze up, threatening to turn into a panic attack as the boy, now a man, gave me a quick hug. It was strange. I did not want him to touch me, but before I could voice my concern, he hurried away, looking down, and I turned to see my father behind me, looking angry, not at me but at him, with his arms crossed.

I could’ve left there and then. Just walked home in my platforms, but I told my dad I didn’t want to show I was rattled. It had been years, after all.

So I stayed, and it wasn’t until much later, after my father left, that the boy, a little tipsy, approached me and sat on the patio next to me.

And he did the strangest thing. He apologized.

I was taken aback, understandly. But I’d also, weirdly enough, had a therapy session with, you know, my therapist, and we talked about how sometimes, you have to forgive people who never say they’re sorry. Not for their sake, but your own. I wasn’t sure I could be the kind of person to do it, but the conversation was still mulling over my head when the boy apologized.

I can’t say whether it was sincere. I can’t tell you that I’m a mind reader or that I know for a fact that he meant it. But I told him, surprising myself and I think him, that I forgave him. This was only after I’d told him the impact he’d had: I’d covered mirrors to hide my reflection, cut myself, tried to kill my self, all by the age of 16. And yes, he wasn’t solely to blame, but he was a trigger, a trigger so bad that when he was placed in my Algebra 2 class, I begged my teacher not to sit us near each other. Thankfully, she did not.

But the next day, telling the story to my mom, I took it back. I was angry again, and hurt, and confused. Why after all these years? Why all the suffering? Why now? Why don’t we ever see the consequences of my actions until it’s too late?

I went back and forth on it—feeling generous for one hour, then wrathful the next—never agonizing over it, per say, more along the lines of trying to solve a piece of my puzzle: was I a forgiving person, or was I not?

Then, I realized: I can be both.

I’m not advocating for forgiveness, or vice versa. I do think there are some things that are truly unforgivable, and a few have happened to me in the years since that BBQ. But something in me changed, something good: I went to college, joined clubs, dated girls, made friends, then graduated college (manga cum laude, which was cool), and basically just moved on. And I discovered that I wasn’t the only one of my peers who was bullied, and I wasn’t the only one who grappled with the idea of forgiveness. It’s terrible to think that most of my friends went through the same awful ordeals I did, but it’s comforting to know I hadn’t been suffering alone—I’d only wished someone had told me while I was going through it.

I don’t credit the boy giving me an apology for my ability to move on in my life, but that apology did allow me to discover that I was okay with having an on-again, off-again relationship with forgiveness. That’s just my nature. And since then, when people have hurt me, it’s easier not to dwell. I know I can have my moments of anger, and I know I can have my moments where I just let it go. Both my anger and my forgiveness have a time and a place. Knowing it doesn’t have to be all or nothing when it comes to what I feel. Few things in this world are absolute.

The moments where I do have it in me to forgive don’t abosolve him. I think we both know that, though I haven’t seen him since that summer night. I think he’s in England now, doing his own thing, maybe with planes, because I remember him liking them. In this moment, I hope he’s doing well. I know I am.

PS: The picture of me shown is from my college graduation, which I worked super hard to do! I was very happy in this picture. I hope you all find that happiness, too.

Media contact: Rich Harrington, (603) 731-9811, rich@tylerclementi.org

In response to religious-based bullying of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) students and communities at Biola University, the Tyler Clementi Foundation has partnered with students, alumni, and local faith leaders to demonstrate as #Upstanders.

Date and Time: Monday, December 4, 2017, 11:45 a.m.-1:00 p.m.

Location: Biola University, 13800 Biola Ave, La Mirada, CA 90639. Biola Ave and…

Speakers:

• Jane Clementi, co-founder of the Tyler Clementi Foundation, Christian, and mother of Tyler Clementi, who died by suicide in 2010 after being cyberbullied on his college campus.
• Rev. Mel White was a highly-visible member of the Evangelical Protestant movement until he came out as gay in 1994 and devoted himself to ministering to LGBTQ people.
• Mitchell Gold, co-founder of Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams, also co-founder of Faith in America, which in November joined forces with the Tyler Clementi Foundation to fight faith-based bullying.
• Erin Green is a gay Christian, former Biola University student, LGBTQ activist, and Faith Programs Coordinator at the Tyler Clementi Foundation.
• Dr. Ken Fong is the executive director of the Asian American Initiative and Assistant Professor of Asian American Church Studies at Fuller Theological Seminary.
• Pastor Danny Cortez is the founding pastor of New Heart Community Church and a Board member of The Gay Christian Network.

Additional information:
11:00 a.m.- 11:15 a.m.— Meet on-campus at Metzgar lawn.
11:15 a.m.- 11:20 a.m.— Greeting and introduction by Erin Green.
11:20 a.m.- 11:30 a.m.— Prayer circle led by a local pastor.
11:30 a.m.- 11:40 a.m.— Walk over to the public demonstration location on Biola Ave.
11:45 a.m.- 11:50 a.m.— Erin Green gives formal introduction and speaks about her experience on campus.
11:50 a.m.- 12:30 p.m.— Official speaker series.
12:30 p.m.- 1:00 p.m.— Open for additional individuals/students who want to share their stories.

Media contact: Rich Harrington, (603) 731-9811, rich@tylerclementi.org

La Mirada, CA—On November 28, 2017, The Tyler Clementi Foundation, whose mission is to end online and offline bullying in schools, workplaces, and faith communities, submitted a list of grievances and requests to Biola University in response to two instances of religious-based bullying and harassment of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) communities.

1. On September 30, 2017, Alan Shlemon lectured at a Biola University-sponsored event entitled Homosexuality: Clarity and Compassion, where he endorsed sexual orientation change efforts that are not only unscientific and dangerous to LGBTQ students, but also violate standards set by the American Psychological Association.
2. The Nashville Statement, signed by members of Biola University’s faculty, conflicts with university policy, which states, “All members of the Biola Community are expected to treat one another with respect and Christ-like compassion.” While Biola claims to support and protect all students, it continues to use its exemptions from federal Title IX nondiscrimination protections to bully and harass LGBTQ students.

“By paying Alan Shlemon to disseminate dangerous, unscientific misinformation about sexual orientation change efforts on campus, and by enabling a climate of fear among faculty who disagree with the anti-LGBTQ Nashville Statement, Biola University has reinforced the anti-LGBTQ narrative they already face because of their Title IX exemption,” said Erin Green, a former Biola student and Faith Coordinator for the Tyler Clementi Foundation. “Biola University has a moral, ethical, and professional responsibility to create a safe and welcoming environment for all students, no matter their sexual orientation or gender identity.”

“As a Christian and mother of a college student who died by suicide after being cyberbullied on campus because of his sexual orientation, I am hoping that Biola University will follow Christ’s commandment to love their neighbor as themselves,” said Jane Clementi, co-founder of the Tyler Clementi Foundation. “Biola University cannot simultaneously abide by the Christ-like compassion of the Golden Rule, while also supporting policies, speakers, and laws that harm our children.”

Only one Biola professor, Wade McNair, Psy.D., has felt able to make a public statement about these issues via his personal social media, which provides him a certain amount of cover from retaliation: “This semester, I received two messages from two different students. One is still at Biola and one that has graduated, both having taken my undergraduate course. In both messages my students validated the need for me to continue to teach at Biola as an LGBT-safe faculty member. Both shared their stories and the joy and hardship of being LGBT, a Christian, and a student at Biola. The recent choices by Biola have left me disappointed and questioning my decision to teach here. But the student impact is the priority and I encourage all other LGBT-safe faculty to stay strong and reflect the love of Christ and the value of each human being created in His image! We make a difference!”

The Tyler Clementi Foundation is asking the administration within Biola University to respond in writing to our request, linked here, by 5:00 p.m. PST on Friday, December 1, 2017.

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Download press release with request document submitted to Biola University and relates supporting documentation.

On November 13, 2017, at The Tyler Clementi Foundation’s Upstander Legacy Celebration, Mitchell Gold, co-founder and co-chair of Faith in America, and Jane Clementi, co-founder and Vice President of the Tyler Clementi Foundation Board of Trustees, announced that their organizations will be joining forces to work together to end religious-based bullying. The following is a statement from Mitchell Gold:

“Faith in America was founded in 2006 to educate the public about the ongoing harm caused to LGBTQ people, especially youth, by faith-based discrimination. In the early years, leaders and funders in our own LGBTQ communities worked against us because they felt the truthful word “bigotry” was too strident. Many thought we could achieve full equality by avoiding religious issues entirely. Despite this resistance, Faith in America grew through donors and supporters who shared heartbreaking experiences of faith- based discrimination, organized around the inspiring vision of a world where religious denominations no longer teach that homosexuality is a sin.

“The Tyler Clementi Foundation has become a critical partner in achieving this vision. Jane Clementi has a powerful voice as a mother and person of deep faith. And now with Jason Cianciotto as its new executive director, The Tyler Clementi Foundation will become an even stronger and more impactful leader. Faith in America wants to be a part of that. By joining forces and using precious community resources more strategically and efficiently, we can hit the grand slam needed to end faith-based discrimination.

“This is why I joined The Tyler Clementi Foundation Board in September and, in partnership with Faith in America’s Board, have begun the process of closing down our operations as a separate nonprofit. All of Faith in America’s programs, staff, and resources will be transferred to the Tyler Clementi Foundation. These include the Save yOur Kids! Campaign, which informs anti-LGBTQ religious denominations and the general public about the immense harm and suffering caused to LGBTQ youth and adults, as well as our College Accreditation Project, which challenges religious institutions of higher learning that include anti-LGBTQ teachings in their programs that graduate accredited, mental health practitioners.

“I want to thank Faith and America and Tyler Clementi Foundation boards and staff for embracing this visionary plan to join forces. Now more than ever, as anti-LGBTQ religious fundamentalists have taken over our highest political offices, we must protect LGBTQ youth from the lifetime of harm caused by faith-based discrimination and rejection from their families and faith communities. I want to be the first to welcome and invite Faith in America’s donors and supporters to learn more about The Tyler Foundation’s programs and services by exploring TylerClementi.org. Please take the #Upstander Pledge, download and implement the #Day1 bullying-prevention program in your school, workplace, or faith community, and follow us on social media.”

See the full video of the announcement here.