I don’t really know if I got bullied. At least that’s what I tell people when they ask me the fitting question.

I got called names (cause I’m overweight and not interested in the things others are/ were), but I never really complained and always thought that there were others who suffered worse. There was one half a years in which we had a new classmate.

I can remember that she came into the Classroom and I immediately offered her the seat next to mine, put the book in the middle of the table and showed her what we were reading. I thought we became friends, but after some time she started to treat me like crap. So I just tried to avoid her. I’m not sure if she ever became that physical, except for the one time when she pushed me against a wall. She found other ways to annoy me.

Of course she wasn’t the only one who called me names in school or got on my nerves, but she was definitely the one who I now feel most like hitting back if I should ever meet her again. Of course I probably wouldn’t do it. I can’t really talk to anyone about this and I don’t really feel like they were bullying me THAT much. Especially when others think that making a joke is bullying, because it’s become more of an expression in Germany (“dissen”, “voll gedisst!”) than a serious word. So maybe I’m underplaying what they did to me or what they left, I don’t think I can judge that, though.

Also I might have social anxiety (haven’t been to a doctor yet, cause I can’t go to one) but if I have or did than She and others definitely weren’t a big help in reducing it. I haven’t told anyone this before, especially not in person (if I told anyone, then only strangers on the Internet) so I don’t really know what to think of this or even if I should do something about it. I can’t talk to anyone about any of my problems. I don’t really know what else to say at this point.