The views or experiences expressed are solely those of the contributor or interview subject and do not represent the views of the Tyler Clementi Foundation, its staff or board. If you have any questions or concerns regarding the material, please contact the Tyler Clementi Foundation, and we appreciate your support and commitment to end bullying starting on #Day1.

The views or experiences expressed are solely those of the contributor or interview subject and do not represent the views of the Tyler Clementi Foundation, its staff or board. If you have any questions or concerns regarding the material, please contact the Tyler Clementi Foundation, and we appreciate your support and commitment to end bullying starting on #Day1.

The views or experiences expressed are solely those of the contributor or interview subject and do not represent the views of the Tyler Clementi Foundation, its staff or board. If you have any questions or concerns regarding the material, please contact the Tyler Clementi Foundation, and we appreciate your support and commitment to end bullying starting on #Day1.

My 6 year old daughter was bullied mentally, physically, and verbally every day in school. This is her story.

The teachers and principals wouldn’t do anything, not matter how hard we fought. By the time we, as her parents, could do anything about it, the damage had already been done.

No apology was made and no responsibility was held. Now, my daughter, at the age of 6, is severely depressed, has self-esteem issues, anxiety, been diagnosed with PTSD, has gotten to the point of self-harm and suicidal thoughts, and is in weekly therapy.

This is something that my daughter has to deal with and battle every single day of her life right now because of how they made her to think and feel about herself. This is something my family has to deal with right now watching our child, the love of our life, hurt deeply. Her older brother has to listen to her talk down about herself and witnessed her put a knife that she found up to her chest saying she just wanted to die so she wouldn’t be so sad anymore!

Meanwhile, those kids that bullied her and their parents go about their days now never knowing the damage they have caused to one child and her family.

This campaign means so much more to me and my family than just some “great cause”. This needs to become a movement. In honor of every child was has been bullied and suffered devastating effects from it with no repercussion for the bully. And so that no more children are lost.

As a mixed Asian child growing up in a white community, I never fit in.

My family was not as affluent as the other families, and as much as I tried to fit in, I didn’t. I wasn’t blonde, blue-eyed, and stick thin….I had almost black hair, dark brown eyes, and more muscular. I won’t ever forget the name calling. …I never understood why…..not being included. ….but I felt worse for my brother.

While I would retreat, and keep to myself, he would fight back. Then the kids would call him more names….worse…it just never stopped. …not until another Asian family moved to town. Then the attention was finally taken off of us…..and our differences. To this day, I still remember how awful it felt to not be accepted because of how I looked.

As a teacher now, I share my story, no matter how painful it still is, because I hope that they see and understand that words do hurt.

I don’t really know if I got bullied. At least that’s what I tell people when they ask me the fitting question.

I got called names (cause I’m overweight and not interested in the things others are/ were), but I never really complained and always thought that there were others who suffered worse. There was one half a years in which we had a new classmate.

I can remember that she came into the Classroom and I immediately offered her the seat next to mine, put the book in the middle of the table and showed her what we were reading. I thought we became friends, but after some time she started to treat me like crap. So I just tried to avoid her. I’m not sure if she ever became that physical, except for the one time when she pushed me against a wall. She found other ways to annoy me.

Of course she wasn’t the only one who called me names in school or got on my nerves, but she was definitely the one who I now feel most like hitting back if I should ever meet her again. Of course I probably wouldn’t do it. I can’t really talk to anyone about this and I don’t really feel like they were bullying me THAT much. Especially when others think that making a joke is bullying, because it’s become more of an expression in Germany (“dissen”, “voll gedisst!”) than a serious word. So maybe I’m underplaying what they did to me or what they left, I don’t think I can judge that, though.

Also I might have social anxiety (haven’t been to a doctor yet, cause I can’t go to one) but if I have or did than She and others definitely weren’t a big help in reducing it. I haven’t told anyone this before, especially not in person (if I told anyone, then only strangers on the Internet) so I don’t really know what to think of this or even if I should do something about it. I can’t talk to anyone about any of my problems. I don’t really know what else to say at this point.

I’ve been bullied from elementary through High school. It wasn’t bad in elementary school I got name called and boys my age would put their face in front of me and call me a name.

In Middle school, boys my age would start ‘Dating’ me then ‘breakup’ with me the day after and bully me until high school. In High school, the same group of boys would be able to do the same thing to me in middle school but in freshman year, I was stupid enough to go on a date with my crush and I asked him if he wanted to go to church with me, he declined saying he was going to the movies with his girlfriend. I was heartbroken and depressed. I couldn’t go to church, eat, or drink that weekend.

Then in my Sophomore or Junior year I was in my conceptual math class and two girls were either in junior or senior class had decided to make fun of me and my medical conditions, by screaming to the teacher saying “WHY DOES SHE GET TO GO TO THE BATHROOM WITHOUT A HALLPASS AND WE HAVE TO WAIT?? I was in the bathroom at the time and heard the girl’s say that and I had thoughts about committing suicide, but I thought of my favorite boyband at the time as well as my parents, family, and friends.

On Graduation day, the bullying stopped and I had thoughts about writing a book about my life and writing several others about bullying. My first book is almost done but hopefully it will be published this year.

One year ago, I signed the Tyler Clementi Foundation’s Upstander Pledge. In doing so, I promised to make others feel safe and included, to speak up if I see bullying occur and not to use offensive or homophobic language.

As is any promise, saying it is much easier than doing. But since I have signed the pledge, I have been compelled to uphold those words in my everyday interactions. Pledging to be an Upstander means you need to actively engage in situations that may be uncomfortable for you and may test the relationships you have with others. But if we are to ensure safe spaces for LGBTQ and other vulnerable youth, we need to ensure we pay attention to our actions and especially to the language we use. To illustrate this, I’d like to share an Upstander story of my own.

A few weeks ago during a family BBQ, my very Italian, somewhat macho, but incredibly lovable uncle, who’s also my godfather, flippantly said, “Tennis players are so gay!” while watching a US Open match. In response, I calmly challenged my uncle about his usage of the term “gay.” I asked, “What do you mean by gay? Do you mean they look silly? Do you mean they look girly with their colorful, fashionable outfits?” To which he sheepishly replied, “OK, I really mean that they look silly.” And rather than it being an awkward moment, there was some humor involved, and I think my uncle got the message loud and clear: the language we use matters.

The language we use DOES matter. Whether in the privacy of our own homes, at a dinner party with friends or work function, or spending time with our families, it’s important to remember that just because a gay or lesbian person is not in the room doesn’t mean it’s OK to use offensive language. Being an Upstander means that you have an opportunity to be an example for others by not using offensive language. It may mean that the next time my uncle wants to use the word “gay” in another situation, he will choose to use a more appropriate one. And in doing so will make the space around him more welcoming and inclusive. It’s that easy—by changing the words we use, we can make the world a safer, more respectful place for all.

“I was raised by a single mother who worked several jobs to make sure my siblings and I had enough food on the table to eat along with basic necessities. I was raised in Paterson, NJ where I was bullied by my classmates because of my overbite and because my mother could not afford name brand clothing. I would tell my teachers and they would tell me “sticks and stones break bones, but words don’t hurt.” Which is a lie. I would lie to my mom and say I was ill to avoid going to school. I tried to bring up teasing to my mom and she would tell me that not everyone was going to like me in life, to get over it. But at the age of 12 how could I get over such malice? I hated high school and often would cut class to avoid being bullied. I would hide in the bathroom for hours, until one day I noticed there were comments written about me in the bathroom. I did get some counseling while at school, but the bullying increased. I was so angry and bitter growing up because I felt like everyone let me down. It took me several years to open up about my experience with bullying. I’m 28 years old now and I was bullied from the ages of 7 to 21. If it wasn’t for my school counselor, I probably would not have made it to see 28. I am all for raising awareness on bullying/cyber-bullying. No child should take their life because of bullying. More parents should be held accountable for the actions of their child. The foundation for how you treat people starts at home.”

“I come to the Tyler Clementi Foundation threefold- first as a humanitarian, second as a public school counselor, and third as a parent. As a humanitarian, school counselor and parent, I have the opportunity to teach people about bullying. I choose to be an Upstander in many ways. There are so many bystanders observing bullying situations. If this group, this large group of individuals, are taught how to use their role in the right way, bullying can decrease. As a school counselor I am lucky to be able to implement an anti-bullying philosophy with the children I serve. Many of them have not been exposed in their home life. This only motivates me more to empower the youth I serve. It is with them that real change can take place. Being an Upstander has to be modeled. And there are islands of opportunities each day to do so. I can say so much more on this topic but must get to my work at school now.”